viannejon

2005-12-17T11:26:00.000-08:00

http://spaces.msn.com/members/miociomiocio/

2005-09-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

thank god being alone including self isolation is part of the very me,
otherwise i'd die..

2005-09-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

原來成年人的生活竟是如此的不堪

久違的不安又來溫故知新了

sleep forever in peace mr. j

is it time to..?

2005-08-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

what's "jumping into conclusion too fast"?
is everyone's definition different?

should i turn it down right away overlooking the tiny surprises and pleasure it brings to me everyday?

should i ignore the fact that i could actually sleep away each night soundly without fear and guilt?

or i should simply bypass the feeling of happiness and accomplishment?

it's not good to be easily satisfied? or i should become more wish-driven.....

leaving on a jet plane

2005-08-22T22:46:00.000-07:00

people come and go in my company every month, how devastating.
i am hanging around for the one last thing this place can offer me,
then i shall be the very next one leaving on a jet plane.

freegan

2005-08-14T22:19:00.000-07:00

there's a new form of lifestyle called "freegan",

basically it's a group of people (not necessarily homeless) who look through garbage everyday for reusable items, and food. most of these people have decent jobs. their idea is "why buy it if we can find it in garbage?" this growing community treasure hunts in the dumpsters find not just food, but entertainment as well, such as music CDs, paperback novels, magazines, even an installation CD for MS Office.

i admire this way of living. why spend money when other people's trash has so much to offer?

2005-08-14T18:17:00.000-07:00

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale
Told by an idiot,
full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

Macbeth Act V, scene v

memory

2005-08-13T21:48:00.000-07:00

consumed by rage
entangled by jealousy
mystified by uncertainty

i wish i could just write consistently like others do,
but i'm not keen to record memories.
writings of memory are prone to review, remembrance and judgement.
they are best forgotten.

"being truthful": the most difficult action.
"being truthful to myself": even harder.

as love burdens, it hurts

2005-06-20T20:11:00.000-07:00

just shortly before mr. jee spoke to me briskly about the everchanging weather, and the problematic renovations. he had a body too energetic for a 70 year-old.

now he is lifelessly sunthbathing in a fishing chair, face all yellow, his eyes are looking but dark and hollow, as if he has lost everything. he is covered by a thick blanket, too thick for today's warm air. mearly the man i once knew.

may his strength be brought back.. to mr. jee, and to that dearest someone mr. jee reminds me of.

mindlessness

2005-05-30T13:15:00.000-07:00

can jedi use their force to give orgasms to women?

for sandi

2005-05-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

sandi:

here are the names for my perspective god daughter/son:

boy: 1. 朱瀟灑 2. 朱嘆吉
girl: 1. 朱不胖 2. 朱古力

take care of urself,

m

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
the old gentleman is terribly ill, i hope he'll get well soon. why worry about death when we have aging to deal with?

it's a memory keeper

2005-05-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

reading a book from ray, the 9 ultimate ways to becoming successful in human relationships, according to this book, the definition of sucess is (not by how much u make) how well u can influence people; being influential is sucessful. mr. carnegie, i'm enlightened.

nothing is ever more delightful than listening to madeleine peyroux in a lazy saturday afternoon, even though i have an ill headache, even though godiva's coffee isn't so good tasting as word of mouth.

one more month i'll celebrate one year anniversary - my very own blog. thx to keith who introduced me to it. i need this more than anyone else, it is a memory keeper.

from march to may

2005-05-27T01:38:00.000-07:00

i finally got my internet in this goddame place!!

these 2 months w/o it, i'd walk 30 minutes to the library to get in line to use it for 30 mins, or i'd walk over to ray's. i had to make lists of things i needed to do, way too painful.

what did i do in these 2~3 months? well, nothing, and i liked it. this long deserved vacation i'd longed to have really served me well..not waking up to the alarm, (almost) no little voices in my head telling me to move forward, i guess this got to be the closest feeling to rebirth, took away the crankiness and self torment in me, i pleasantly find myself tinkled by the littlest details in life, just as i should have been.

i also want to document my most treasured experience being a volunteer at the tribeca film festival, it was like taking a baby step forward toward my true passion for films, for 8 days out of the 14 days of the festival, i enjoyed every moment of it, and every movie i saw. i was mostly assigned to the red carpet, where all the press and celebs were, in some slow nights, i was ushering in the theater...i saw tons of celebs, but since i am never a crazy star praisers, i'm only gonna mention that i saw nicole kidman and sean penn during the premiere (and also the festival's open nite) of "the interpreter". it was inside the paris theater on 6th ave, and having kidman standing 2 feet away from me was a real shocker, even though i am not a big fan of her, but i must admit that she looked like a procelain doll from head of toe, to the perfection.

at last, i need to mention a few names, the friends i made from this event, these friendly friends are my most rewarding experience: hi to dan, maureen, deb, collene, doris..and many many others!

farewell to my youth

2005-02-26T17:22:00.000-08:00

found a lot of stuff from the past while packing up for tomorrow.

found my collective soul cd; "the world i know", "december"..
found a chinese cd bought by ray and andy for my 19th or 20th birthday?

found a nasty color nail polish; deep metallic blue. only wore it once when sean and i met up for lunch after several years without any contact. sometimes when one is left with nothing but memories, even the seemingly meaningless would mean the whole world.

i'll be watching

2005-02-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

I am sooo proud of u for facing up ur own challenges!!

as much as u consider urself as a risk taker, u r basically just a dumb person who is too lazy to think deeply; "what the heck, just do it" is ur philosophy. nothing glorious about it.

no matter how much u wanna be ur own boss, but in every darkness of nite, u know u are fearful of tomorrow's whereabouts.

i know u didn't make up that mind on ur own. but i'm still proud of u for confronting ur scary dreams and conquoring the deeply rooted laziness. keep up the good work, i'll be watching.

nothing to do

2005-01-28T21:37:00.000-08:00

i have been getting one package after another at work for the stuf i ordered last weekend..during the snow storm when i felt so locked in, u know not being able to go out if totally different from not wanting to go out...m always tells me that young people have no imagination, yeah, she's right, last weekend i felt devastated, so i went online and ordered junks, something that i didn't even need, now i feel awful!

left work early with jen, we made an arrangement to go shopping together next friay after work, she's really cool.

it's friday nite, and i am extremely bored, pete's not home.

hate working

2005-01-05T10:51:00.000-08:00

i hate working.

i cannot picture myself sitting behind a fucking desk in the next 20 years; taking orders from people, taking shit from the youngsters who think they know all that, and taking shit from senior citizens who just won't retire. dealing with people who take their personal craps in the jobs. how can i live with that? i wish i were a hardcore worker who takes a lot of pride from work, or a person who works long hours and is still happily satisfied.

how do i put an end to this?

flying darn

2005-01-04T15:36:00.000-08:00

the stinky old lady called me this am even during her fucking vacation she wouldn't let go of me!! "oh i asked u to do this why u didn't do it?!", oh shit why don't u go asssing somewhere else?

dr. g was scheduled to give a colloquium tomorrow, i made a courtesy call to remind her today, and this lady was like: "oh! really? i never knew anything about the colloquium, i have a dental appointment tomorrow, and that appointment is very hard to get, so i must go!". man i wanted to punch a hole through that dr's face but i could not because doctors are the most educated ppl in the world. what kinda fucking dental appointment is THAT hard to get anyway? why would u give up an important lecture of 100 informed attendees for this junk? so i was being really really efficient today putting all the work aside running around kissing up to other doctors to see if any of them wanted to take over the hot potato.

the old lady is coming back on thurs, another ass to look forward to. maybe i'll call in sick that day, who knows.

semi-back

2004-12-30T21:19:00.000-08:00

i am totally back!
for how long? don't even ask!

i have been out of this blog place just now i forgot my password, and user name, and even the email address what had been used for registration; took me a while to come back here.

just felt extremely excited that a good friend of mine from elementry school sent me a greeting card from taiwan, made me feel very warm. it is amazing how friends are well connected even though our memories from the childhoold are wearing thin.

bush is a dumb fuck who is up to no good. took that freaking loser 72 hour to formally express his concerns to the tsunami victims. and what happened to the well rounded 24/7 news coverage like when first 911 had struck? perhaps this tragedy does not deserve that much attention since those are non-americans.

"$$ can't buy happiness" that's bullshit

2004-09-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

people say "money cannot buy happiness", who can really prove this phrase to be true?

after a few weeks of having tight budget, i disappointedly realized that the majority of my happiness is developed through spending. whenever i am loaded, even though i'd be doing something as simple as sitting on couch and watch tv (kung fu of course), or playing street fighters on ps2, pete and i would look each other in the eyes thinking that we must be the luckiest young people in the world having all the freedom and lavishness of time and enjoyment. but if without money, although we could still engage in same kinda activities as usual, but just that nothing is right anymore, like being handcuffed.

don't tell me that happiness built on money is not real happiness. don't you be so naive thinking that there is "prolonged happiness" on earth. what's "true" happiness and what's "shallow" happiness? happiness is happiness alright??

what a freakin' day

2004-09-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

oh man finally i am able to get back online!

no internet connection, no tv for nearly two weeks, the earliest appointment with the cable guy was today between 2pm-6pm, what kinda sucky time is that?? and this guy was really really taking his time to come, didn't come til quarter to six. yeah, now that he's finished, just the right time for me to step out for the first time for dinner.

in addition to the long, dreadful waiting, early in the morning today around 9 a construction worker showed up to knock down our kitchen, what happened is my landlord got sued for renting out the basement, no wonder those people moved out so abruptly, after the tenants moved, the landlord knocked down the furnishing and interior to make it look like a stock room, and because our kitchen was not on the original blueprint, so the landlord also had to hire someone to make our kitchen "disappear" completely, including the tiles, the fridge, pipes and all other stuff. he did all this in order to pass the inspection which is going to take place on monday. i heard they spent nearly $5000 to pull this trick.

my house now is a mess.

REAL LUCKY

2004-09-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

took a long derserved day off today...

pete was nice enough to drive me to flushing today because outside was pouring, we didn't realize how bad it was around my neighborhood until our car was half way buried in the flood! i thought it only happened in newspapers or movies. i suggested pete to stay home with me today, becasue no work deserves all that trouble~

i was wondering why i have been feeling dizzy and no-energy, then i discovered my stove has been been leaking gas! god knows how long this has been going on already, consider myself real lucky.

BACK AGAIN

2004-09-03T23:17:00.000-07:00

nono, i am not trying to abandon this site, just the stupid pop ups hidden in my computer are so goddamn annoying, not even the pop up detector can do them away.

i have put on a lot of weight ever since i started working there, there is sooo much food in the cafeteria! there's a huge salad bar, daily specials, cold cuts, special soups, chicken wings, burgers and all other junk foods, everyday i would order something as heavy as curry lamb over rice with creamed spinach on side, or spaghetti with extra meat sauce.. i have been talking to myself since day one to stop eating that heavily, that i should just get a plain bowl of salad and a soup on the side, but everytime i go in, i always, always come out with food that's enough to feed two men, one day i brought food back to office, on the elevator, a nosy woman asked me: "wow u can finish all that?" i then, shook my head REAL hard and replied: "of course not! some of it is for a co-worker"... inside my heart, i was waving a middle finger in her face~~ it was so unlike me to lie about this kinda things, usually i would just say go fuck urself in a modest way, hahah perhaps i was just too self conscious about my weight gain.

took off early today at 2, it's an unofficial rule that the friday b4 any major holiday we all get to leave early, sometimes as early as 1:00, this job has all the benefits that i never thought existed, today's early leave made the dreadful train ride all of a sudden seem so flowery and "heart-dancing".

still holding on, haven't been paid for 1 month already, another two weeks to go....................

8:00PM = BED TIME

2004-08-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

i must write a blog tonite b4 i put myself early to sleep again! tell u secret: i actually went to bed at 8:30 last night! my so-called lifestyle is like a fucking chinaman peasant. to think on the bright side, at least i am up to date with my beauty sleep, no matter what, this lifeless lifestyle just cannot persist!

got an email from my cuz dave, he sent over some pics which were taken in taiwan during his honey moon, and i saw this pig looking man in the picture who looked quite familiar to me but from where? oh! he is my brother! my goodness, this guy must have over the years, put on at least 50 pounds or something! speaking of my brother, i hardly mention him to anyone, because my bro and i have zero communication, i jsut remember we used to fight all the time using baseball bats and broom sticks, real fights i am talking, and that is all there's to it.

u know it's interesting that people are making comments about iPOD having a mind of its own? well, they are claiming that when using the "shuffle" functions, this iPOD would actually have a preference over which songs to play. one of the peeps says his iPOD likes hiphop better than all other genre.

oh rite, let me end my bs here, hey u guys, don't just read, u also gonna say something on the tag board okay? please!

dr. b is post-call tomorrow (meaning she is oncall today, she is entitled to take a full day off the next day) so she won't be bothering me tomorrow, and nx week she will be gone for vacation!! yeehaa~~~

2004-08-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

from left: my cousin ann, lizzy (the newly wed), my bro, and cousin david (the broom)

what would u have done?

2004-08-23T20:38:00.000-07:00

if on the train someone next to you falls asleep and the person's head drops on your shoulder, would you:

1. politely wake him/her up
2. change your seat, leaving his/her head abruptly unsupported (boom!)

i opted for #2, after i did that i felt terribly bad for being so rude. it was a tired, middle aged chinese man. if it happened to be a nice looking man around my age, would i have done it any differently?? would i even have sniffed to see what kind cologne he was wearing?

one of my easiest workdays ever, the troublesome old lady who shares the office with me is out on vacation, no phone calls, no walk-ins, even the doc wasn't bothering me..had absolutely nothing to do, so i tried to keep myself busy by sharpening pencils, windexing my desk stuff like that. there are of course things to do, i just don't know where to even begin since i still a fucking amateur at work. sigh.

one of my favorite painting "the scream" by munch was stolen! how outrageous. the museum is now being criticized for not having enough security, yeah right, like they were supposed to hire armed forced in the exhibits to keep the museum goers feeling "safe and protected".

the exorcist

2004-08-21T17:17:00.000-07:00

just saw this movie "the exorcist". i highly recommend anyone who loves scary movies to definitely not miss this. it was one hell scary shit. it is one of those rare movies that is very slow paced but still horrible enough to scare u off the edge. well, although toward the end it became sort of funny; it is like an unbreakable curse that in every devil or ghost movie, the process of exploring is always bone-chilling, until the point where the physical form of devil shows up, then the entire movie takes on a sudden twist into comedy. there was one part when the main character finds out that the root of all evil is actually his girlfriend, at that time the girlfriend has turned into a hideous, monstrous creature who can pull olympic stunts like lara croft..all of a sudden she turns around, bares her boobies and says to the guy: "what? don't u wanna fuck me?!" hahahhaha, everyone in the theater started to crack up. one movie, two types of enjoyment, man definitely worth the money!

gonna rent the exorcist 1 to learn more about the story line. in fact the entire movie is all about how a fallen priest reclaims his faith. i think the movie can also be named "how the priest got his groove back".

blah blah blah

2004-08-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

changing ur job means a fresh start, but being a newbie really really sucks!

the doctor has started to give me tons and tons of work to do, which i don't mind, because i usually work fast. but not knowing anything about medical related can be a pain~ and this doc i work for has a tendency of giving ambiguous instructions, as if i've been working for her for 10 years or something, but u don't wanna keep asking because she is always in a rush. so today i stayed late trying to figure out what exactly she was saying about my assignments..phew~

god damn cable is down, can't watch the olympics! so i watch kung fu even more now, because that's all i've got. :(

the hr guy told me i am on a monthly payroll, fuck! getting paid only once a month? fuck!

what to do with those 2 hours?

2004-08-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

was chatting with janice pleasantly on the phone last night, she said she will be starting a new job next month, it's also in brooklyn, and she has to be there at 8am, which means she has to get up every morning at 5am, even worse than me! that just made me feel so much better~

i must look on the bright side about finding things to do during the everyday 2 hour train ride, although i never get enough sleep, i can never fall asleep on the train-just too alerted. now i have started to read the front section of the newspaper (before it was to be tossed away), instead of reading *only* the arts and metro sections. the biggest flaw about american papers is that they never have enough celebrity gossips, unlike chinese papers, always dedicate at least 8 entire pages to star gossips, categorized by different regions. that's what we called "news"; news of all sorts, okay?

saw dr.bendo today for the first time as she came back from vacation, terribly nervous, she seems a bit compulsive, i hope i can live up to her standards.

nothing much's been happening in my life

2004-08-15T11:29:00.000-07:00

it's been a while since my last entry, well these days i have been working on those ps2 game i bought/rented, they are amazing! too bad i am unable to find cheats for any of them..

last night went to dinner with the same "dinner crew" in joe's shanghai in elmhurst, and this time eva and serena also joined us, too. when lazy and ray are around, u never have to worry about over ordering. oh yeah lei should have a tournament today, good luck!

does anyone has cheats for the last samurai 2 and siren?

now i feel they really deserve the respect

2004-08-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

i used to make fun of those doctors who always insist on being called doctors, or who never fail to put "m.d." next to their names in whatever they write. after seeing how these prospective doctors are brutally tortured by the system, i must say i now give them a lot of credit for being doctors. they surely deserve all the respect out there :)

u know i am in charge of the routines of all 63 medical students in anesthesia (we call them the residents), and i came in just in time to work on their vacations for next school year, man i'm telling u, it is a monster! because only certain amounts of residents from each level are allowed to take vacations in the same period, and everyone of them has such a tight schedule to work with, it's extremely difficult to arrange their vacation~ why i said these residents are brutally tortured? well, not only they have to work 80 hours a week, on top of work, there's tons of study, and they have to be on-call during late nights. although these people have 4 week vacation each year, but sadly they don't get to choose the time, instead, it is assigned by us, today a resident came to office to "beg" me to have his vacation time switched, because he has to attend his sister's wedding in brazil, my svp then stepped in and explained to him that only under these 3 circumstances would the vacation be allowed to change: 1. you mother dies 2. your father dies 3. you r getting married. my svp then ended his inquiry by asking :"which one do u think is more important? the medical school or ur sister's wedding?"

today i was introduced to all the residents in a lecture hall during their weekly colloquium, i was kinda nervous, gladly i dressed pretty today :) and i was wearing my "glasses of confidence", i even remembered to suck in my tummy! sigh~after two dreadful sleepless nights, finally i was really able to get some sleep last night-feeling refreshed again!

a newbie at work

2004-08-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

thank u all for ur concern! i am doing okay with the new workplace~

just that i am still trying to get my body adjusted to getting up and going to bed early-used to be the other way around just a few weeks ago.

nothing much to do actually, which is a bless. but u know pretty much all the people in the world think they've got the most stressful job..like my spv keeps complaining about not being able to get her work done, but she doesn't seem that busy! so one day i pulled my chair next to her and watched how she performed..hmm..no wonder she could not get her work done, she is a computer moron! today she downloaded an attachment from email to her computer, after she made changes to the attachment, she then CLOSED it, later on she wanted to access that file again, so she actually went back to the email and downloaded the file again, then she SCREAMED: "why is it that all the changes were not saved???" my goodness! so i was kind enough to explain to her about what happened using the plainest language, but she just would not get it...eventually she ended her own confusion by saying: "oh well, the computer has a mind of its own"...anyway, so i asked her to do the changes again and i sucessfully saved the file for her..man no wonder she cannot get the work done.

on the stress level scale of 1-10, my ex workplace would be a 20, and i would give this place a 0.5. besides the work, people seem to be nice there. i wish i can get my hands on things fast, so i can stop volunteering myself to do those kindergarden stuff like making photocopies and filing documents..

hehhe pete is buying that gold swatch for me this weekend! (heheh keith don't frown)

ps. stole this website from keith(http://cokecat.blogspot.com/), pretty interesting~
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

monday is tomorrow

2004-08-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

my last day of weekend!!

pete advised me about not showing attitutes to those people from new work, excuse me? i am the biggest ass kisser in the world! don't u know it by now? well, in my very first day, i will be performing the overwhelming ass-kissing to EVERYONE, including the janitor HAHAHHAA, because at that time u still don't know who the key person is besides ur boss, but by next week i should be able to narrow down the ass kissing lists a bit. i will then try to pretend to be "hungry for knowledge"( oh, teach me! teach me!), patient, and even somewhat "vulnerable"...too bad i have to perform these operations all over again, like playing a dating game; during the first few dates i eat so little in front of that guy, but after 1 week or so, i begin to chew on a cow before the guy's eyes.

i actually read the times today!!

2004-08-08T02:19:00.000-07:00

hmm..just trying to enlighten u guys with some numbers:

according to the 2003 census, no surprise, the asian is rated the highest in education by comparing with other ethnic groups.

for those who completed high school:
87.4% asian
84.9% european
49.1% latino

for those who completed bechelors or higher
asian 50%
european 35.4%
latino 11.6%

for those who entered the professional or executive fields
47% asian
41.3% european
12.7% latino

finally, we also have the highest incomes, of course, according to the result, 53.8% of asian earn over $50k per year, pretty impressive right?

oh by the way, u know the movie "open water" which is coming soon to theaters, is directed by a chinese lady? (well, it's done by husband & wife, and the wife is chinese) ((the lady's last name is "LAU", like "ANDY LAU's LAU", heheh)), and the entire movie was made via a handheld camera, sort of like the famous "the blare witch project"..speaking of which, the whole movie i waited and waited to be scared, but in the end, i got nothing, except for tired muscles for waiting too long to be scared.

a great ending to my 1 week break

2004-08-08T00:59:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!!! there are 20 ppl on my counter now!! that truly deserves a celebration!! (although i bet half of it comes from me..)

alice, ray, janice, john, tianji, shirley and i all gathered together to "celebrate" joyce's leaving to TN this coming thursday. seven of us went to my favorite dining place in oyster bay called "tiki bar". it's outdoor, with a great ocean and sky view, the best place to go to especially during sunset, absolutely beautiful. the whole atmosphere was fun and relaxing, enough to put a perfect ending to my 1 week in-between-jobs break. see, that's what is so bad about chilling with old friends, which makes u feel lazy to develop other friendships elsewhere. those people just know u so well to the bone, there's really nothing that cannot be said or done. for example, if i want to go to the bathroom in the middle of a discussion, i could just simply say: "i wanna take a shit", rather than: "oh, excuse me, i need to use the lady's room". fuck that.

after the dinner around 9ish, called up lazy and keith trying to catch the second round, well, instead of drinking and chatting at the SAGO place (a place full of skinny bitches which really makes me feel like an elephant!!!), i suggested ray's so i could get myself some drinks, because i knew that keith and lazy would never ever go to a bar with me!! and it is absolutely impossible for me to start my weekend without a few drinks-although later on i just became a totally different person after a few rounds of mixed drinks, good that i didn't seem to surprise anybody there, they've all seen me wilding out ever since high school. some people never change...only for the worse.

keith is also leaving too, and he is really leaving for real :( :( it has been good knowing u as a great great friend, u know it is hard to meet a friend like this during ur adulthood. it was such a short time but we certainly had our "connection" heheh. although we won't be seeing each other as often, but i will certainly be seeing u A LOT on msn, that's for sure. :) GOOD LUCK!!

P.S. so pathetic i forgot to pay my credit card again!!!! the fines are sky rocketing!! so now i've made the credit card page into my wallpaper and startup webpage, see i'm pretty smart right? :)

nottin' to do...

2004-08-06T17:55:00.000-07:00

have not had a flat day like this for the longest time.
trying to save money by staying put. i even cooked. watched some japanese soaps, cute boys and cute girls.

living without focus for more than 1 week can sometimes be painful, rather than joyous.

those fuckin' orange buses

2004-08-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

wrote an email to the orange bus system, it goes something like this:

"after my long term obeservation which involves anger and disappointment, you have finally achieved the goal in becoming the worst bus system in the entire state of new york, for your outstanding performances in absolute untimeliness, and the indecent professionalism toward customers. Please keep up the good work and I shall move to a different neighborhood where your services are not needed. Thank you."

@6:14 pm while i was pleasantly engaged in grocery shopping, i received a phone call from a girl who called from JETRO, one of the very first companies i sent my resume to. it is conveniently located as close as two blocks away from my house, even closer than trisonic. strangely they waited 1 month to call me, i believe that's how american people handle their routines; slow, slow, slow..the interview is scheduled to be held on tuesday, although i already took a job offer, i still said yes anyhow, just in case if something goes wrong on monday (my first day in the hospital). as i said, salary isn't a factor, it is the room for advancement that holds the key.

wow writing in different colors is awesome!!!

freedom of speech = getting ur ass burned!!

2004-08-03T22:02:00.000-07:00

i overheard a stupid news today;

an old lady filed a complaint against her neighbor for wearing a shirt all year long with a marijuana leaf and next to it reads: I AM A DEALER. the cops showed up this morning and raided his house, and turned out he was in fact a dealer, also a farmer who doesn't grow corn, but other stuff, u know. on tv they blurred out his face but kept the shirt because the shit was funny.

oh man how can anyone be this retarded?? i think all these stupid idiots out there should look up to him as a role model.

had a wonderful afternoon with keith in the city today. first i went to dim sum with joy in the morning, she just came back from tw, and told me she'd run into mad stars on the streets, she'd even met one in an amusement park!!! how lucky! so i spend the entire dim sum time asking about those stars, like if they really had big boobs and flawless skins..man that gossip was hot! then immediately rushed to st.marks to team up with keith, didn't do much tho, well, except for the "massive walk", we started from st.marks then walked along broadway then to chinatown, after we were through with chinatown, one of us suggested to walk backwards....geez no one can look pretty in such a muggy weather like today's, good thing that we are going to the met tomorrow, i can pretend to be artistic for just one day if they blast the AC hard enough.

my first official work-free day

2004-08-02T21:28:00.000-07:00

i had a full day today! well, i slept and slept until 1:30pm, then i woke up and cooked something for myself, after watching tv for an hour, i went back to sleep again! this time didn't wake up until 5ish, then quickly i dressed up to go back to my ex company to get my paycheck and also to have dinner with 7 of my former co-workers: lily, tommy, chi, leng, albert, rebecca, and hermia.

the dinner was fun, but i wasn't digging the food tho. we went to this chinese hotpot place on main street..man to me eating hotpot in a hot, steamy summer night is a bit too much, but whatever, they were treating anyway :) one thing about hanging out with ur coworkers is that there isn't too much to talk about except for talking and complaining about the work, since i am out of the game already, i wasn't really participating anymore, my mind was somewhere else. in the end leng invited to her house next weekend, i said of course, but will i really go? don't know if u understand how i feel; well when we used to work together, we had the same enemy (the boss), and we fend the fort together, now that i have a new job, we are left with nothing else in common, so what is going to hold us together in the future? everytime i think of this i feel sad, but i guess that is how life goes.

however, i have another dinner arrangement with another group of co workers, heheheh, my popularity is just unstoppable!

MR. "DUMAS"

2004-08-01T01:56:00.000-07:00

forgot to mention something on the side..

u know when i first started using the internet 10 years ago, i signed up for this stupid lovematch web, after a few emails i never touched that site ever again. i have no idea how this guy managed to find my profile (perhaps after 1000 pages) and wrote me an email. this guy EMPHASIZED that he was a in the modeling business, and he provided me a link to see his picture..and EMPHASIZED that he was DISCOVERED, not applied..he emphasized it so much he even underlined the words "modeling" and "discovered". hahahhah. so what u r good looking? u r still a dumbass after all.

the bourne supremacy

2004-08-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

ray, wayne and anita were going to the jersey garden mall, and asked me if i wanted to tag along, actually they didn't need to ask, why would i ever say no to shopping?

the traffic was more than just slow, it PAUSED. this black car in front of us was so freaking slow which made the idling traffic even worse! one of the reasons why i never drive is because i'd be a furious driver; at one point i actually opened the door and tried to walk to front to tell that guy to move his fucking ass! but ray stopped me because i think my violence shocked the girl sitting in the back, well i forgot her name by now, but she is a tourist who came with anita. that girl asked anita:"does everyone in new york act like her?" no sweetie, if i were the direct representation of all new yorkers, new york would've been a warzone.

okay, the shopping part was rather normal, so i am gonna skip it and jump right to my next program...met up with keith, serena and lazybuddy, the usual crew for dinner, lots of chatting and shit talking, then we proceeded to the movie:the bourne supremacy...another matt damon's "not-only-i-am-cute-i-am-immortal" or "after-many-fights-still-no-scar-in-my-face" movies. a typical guyish movie i reckon; totally action packed, but with an uncomplicated story. i think i've complained wayyy too much tonite. anyway, it was a fun night, totally hung out with the right peeps!

just found out joy came back, greeeeaat! another person to hang with in my time off~~

2004-07-31T22:15:00.001-07:00

another one of their pic

2004-07-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

my precious baby nephew camron and niece kealyn :)

crying like a bitch

2004-07-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

my last day of work today...

spent my entire workday crying and shitting (that's right!), because i was too sad and neurotic, my stomach was fucking up on me.

i have been crying like a bitch as soon as i walked into the company, and i would start crying over something utterly utterly stupid, for instance, today i brought sugar to the company for coffee, and this guy made a comment about me being so nice for buying sugar for everyone, just like that, i started crying hysterically! so u know how much i must've cried today! i really hate crying, it makes my big nose seem even bigger (and red, too!!!), but i just can't help it, my tears are always easily triggered.

as i was walking out, larry shouted from far behind: "stop crying!"...i just wish i could.

got to spend my entire week off remastering microsoft excel, i hate that shit, i hate anything that has to do with calculations and formulas. anywayz, if u need to hang out this week, do call me!! i need to shop for business outfits, too.

ready for a new life?

try not to act too happy, or god may take it away like this (finger snapping)

2004-07-28T21:32:00.000-07:00

hey remember i told u about this hospital job i was interviewed for? well, i got it!!

u know i wasn't confident enough about getting the position because the entire interview process was much to complex and detail oriented..i wasn't sure if i was really on the "top of the list" as what the recruiter lady'd told me two days ago, until my general manager today got a call from the hr asking for my reference, then i knew they were really finalizing the candidates...i literally screamed when i got this call!

i told my general manager about this new job, his eyes became teary and said he never should have given that reference! as advised by everyone in my company, that i should only tell the boss on the day i leave, not prior to, because she is mad shady, who knows what kinda shit she's gonna pull when she finds out i am leaving. well, saying goodbye is tough, especially to those nice people who's been with u nine-to-five for 4 years. "no banquet lasts forever"

the only thingie that kinda bothers me is the travelling, it's crazy! :) but my meager little wish is just to work happily, that's all. i hope i can make it there.

BTW. WHO EVER READS THIS WILL NEED TO BUY ME DINNER AS CELEBRATION, YOU, YOU AND YOU, YOU KNOW WHO U ARE!

a little bit of this 'n' that

2004-07-27T21:57:00.000-07:00

my gal becky is 6-week pregnant! so happy she's finally decided to keep the baby, and i am the registered god mother! although it is 10 months away, but still i'm very very excited because it's the closest experience i have for ever being a mom! everyday i can see her changes, such as increasingly compulsive eating behavior (we called it ICEB, heheh), dramatic mood change over some chicken shits, all that exhausion and sickness...it must be tough. being chinese, i know the extreme importance about the month prior/post to the delivery, but it is hard for an american to understand it.

today's pauline's last day of work, very happy for her to get out of this hellish place. she is opening up a restaurant in whitestone some day next month, she said if i ever visit that place, she will give me free drinks and 50% on everything else, lovely!

just finished watching an old school kung-fu movie for i guess the 10th time, strange as i am, i feel safe and protected by repeatedly watching movies that i am familiar with. in my house i have countless collections of kung fu related movies and tv shows, it would surely be hard to save myself from my own torment if living without these old movies.

i feel i am turning this board into an old lady blah blah place, totally aimless. check out keith's blogboard, his funny, prolific messages are my inspiration for writing my own bullshit :) it's good to spit it sometimes, my old shrink from teenage years used to say so.

kill me now b4 i kill myself

2004-07-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

it's monday!!!

the recruiter lady at the hospital (the one i'd been interviewed for) asked me to fax her a copy of my recommendation letter. the gm at my company is mad cool with me, so he wrote it exactly as how i'd wanted it to be, self motivated, highly organized, pleasant to work with, no excessive absences (which is totally bs, just think about how many fridays i've left work early because of the so called "women's monthly cramp", which all coincidently happened on nearly every friday, heheh.) however, after i faxed, i called the recruiter lady to confirm receipt, she confimed it, and conveniently told me that i was "on very top of their list"..yeah yeah yeah, like it means shit.

imagine i can't find a job and gonna get stuck here for another 4 freakin' years? then please drive a car and run me over.

civilization=destruction

2004-07-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

ray is taking some girls to a scenic spot, so he came to me for suggestions. pete and i are nature loving people, the first places on my list were: sand's point somewhere in long island, oakland lake in bayside and oyster bay.

apparantly one of my girlfriends anita did not enjoy sand's point at all, she is such a metroplitan girl who sees no beauty in "unpolished beauty" hehehe.. hey when it comes to natural scenic places, i can probably name a whole bunch, but no matter what, central park is definitely out of my list, it's all man-made, deliberately reconstructed for human convenience and interests. what a turn-off.

all those devilish sundays..

2004-07-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

lovely day today,
the cool breeze sweeps away all undesirable stress that a regular sunday would bring, it is good to feel emotionless sometimes, don't you think?

called dad today, as usual we spoke about chinese calligraphy, world politics and how a decent human being should act when facing various situations...urged him to see a doctor if he felt anything wrong, of course, i pretended i didn't know anything about his decling health as advised by mom.

taking a two day off from sending resumes, starting a new job is painful, like falling in love in the first couple of weeks, must get used to that person's logics, hidden intentions, even the bodily scents.

how does burden-free feel like i often reckon?

4 bloody periods, that's it!!

2004-07-25T02:20:00.000-07:00

any of u ladies saw that commercial about those birth control pills that would only give u four periods per year??? man that sounds too divinely good to be true!!

a pleasant, nothing-major-happened saturday

2004-07-25T00:40:00.000-07:00

i have given this website so far to anita and ray, therefore i must keep it up~~well, at least for another week or so..man just realized all number keys on my keyborad are dead, shit.

anywayz, back to today..my day did not really start until ray picked me up, pete'd left early, so i was stuck in my house alone, having absolutely nothing to eat in the house..so hungry i wanted to make myself a coffee, but then realized the milk powder was expired two years ago. ray was totally late by two hours, pissed off hungry, so i ordered two medium pies plus two side orders to be delivered to my crib..well my happiness finally started with a satisfying burp.

went to ray's for a fun game called "eye toy", sort of like the famous dance machine game except it uses hands, i played hardcore and sweated like a motherf.cker..anita played so all-over-the-place like there's no tomorrow....anywayz, i shall end my bull shit here, tomorrow we are taking pete's dad out to oyster bay, love that place~

korean bbq in hot summer night

2004-07-23T21:23:00.000-07:00

dearest friend kai after two years of job hunting has finally settled with an excellent one...he invited 5 of us to dinner: lazybuddy, serena, me, and charles. at first i thought we were going to this fancy japanese all-u-can-eat, but turned out that dumb dumb lazybuddy suggested a korean bbq place on northern...what the hell was he thinking? in door bbq in a hot summer night?? i didn't touch any meat at all, all i had was grilled mushrooms...at first the atmosphere was a little frozen because not everybody knew each other. hey but things started to change after i came back holding a raw sardine in my plate! it looked so pretty when i was holding it, i thought i was the coolest girl in the restaurant! so five of us ended up grilling that poor fish together, topped it with onions, scallions and oranges! but in the end it tasted really nasty so we forced lazybuddy to take it in....holy cow.

when it comes to rain, looking pretty just isn't an option...

2004-07-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

it rained so hard! seems like all clashable combinations suddenly make sense..

while waiting for bus, i saw this man eating a slice of pizza in the pouring rain while running (hey when hunger strikes ain't nothing u can do)...and saw a handsome, spiffy looking gentleman carrying a purple hello kitty umbrella..and those hot bitches on the street all covered in garbage bags..

4 separate interviews for 1 job, killer!

2004-07-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

after 4 years of stable employment, today i went to my first ever interview!

i was interviewed for the position of assisting this doctor who is the chairman of the board. oh man the whole process was dreadful! i was totally interviewed by 4 different peeps separately, first this old recruiter lady who sat down with me to discuss about the job requirements and all that crap, then i was led to a nice looking man in his private office, he asked many questions about my current job and told me about the pensions, benefits, vacations..etc, then later on met with another old lady who was said to be the secretary of i-can't-remember..two hours passed, finally i was brought to the operation room for dr.bendo for the final confrontation. overall, i think i did okay.

they are supposed to notify me yes or no by end of next week..not that crazy about that position and the environment, which is incoveniently located in downtown downtown brooklyn on clarkson near flatbush avenue, quite of a rough neighborhood, on top of that, the commute time was unbelievable, gotta take the #2 train all the way down to the final few stops..in addition, the hospital facility is seemingly undesirable. but if i am really given the chance to work there, i'd still go for it just to get out of my current job. oh yeah, the salary was so-so, not even close to what i am getting now, but for a young person like me, it'd be silly for me to only look at what's in front of me at present time, rather than considering the whole big picture ahead of me.

ps. i'm supposed to be the assistant/spokesperson for dr.bendo who is the head director of the anesthesia department. b4 the interview, the word anesthesia just wasn't in my very limited vocabulary! i told the guard i was heading toward the "anastasia" floor (u got it! it's one of disney's animations), he just didn't quite get it...